Ask the Dream Team

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Link:  Sheik gave me the earring and pierced my ear.

If you’re asking about before Zelda changed Time, the answer is more complicated and I don’t have a name to give you.  That was the first time I ever accessed the Big Blue Time Thingie.  Rauru told me I’d been sleeping for seven years when I woke up, but I don’t think he meant it literally.  The Big Blue Time Thingie threw me forward seven years, protected me for seven years.  And kind of like how sometimes I can go back in time and be a kid again, in this case I went forward in time and wound up in my adult body – but a kind of hypothetical adult body.  It’s the adult I would have become if I had not been trapped in the time stream for seven years.  But, of course, I was.  So I didn’t have any memories to go with the new body, which means I don’t know who hypothetically pierced those ears.  Maybe it would have been Sheik still.  Maybe somebody else.  Maybe I did it on my own.  I don’t know, because I wasn’t there.

Makes me wonder, though.

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Neesha:  Completely unsurprised?

Hunter: Pleased.  It means he knows better than to trust either one of us to give him a piggy-back ride with no consequences.

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Neesha:  This is a sword.  It cuts things.  I find it very effective.


Hunter:  There are certain phrases in the Sheikan tongue you can use to ask them to stand down or stand aside.  No need to fight them, they’re there to protect things.  As long as you’re not one of the people they’re trying to protect it from, you’re fine.


Link: My preferred method of dealing with redeads, is to NOT deal with redeads.

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 Neesha:  It’s cute that you think he hasn’t.  That’s not a compliment, to be clear.

The thing he learned about leevers that day is that there are a lot more of them than you generally see on the surface of the sands.  Those are the desperate ones, or the weak ones, or the damaged ones.  The healthy ones stay under the sand to keep from drying out between rains.  When the rains do come, they all come up to the surface to soak up as much water as they can before going back down under the sand to lurk again until the next rain comes, or until we come to dig them out and murder them for food.

We had an excess of leevers after that.  It’s all they served for like two months after – we had to get through them.  I don’t know if he was TRYING to drown them, or if he was just trying to get a break from the heat, but whatever it was it backfired on him.

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Neesha:  Hunter.  Link’s survival skills consist of throwing tantrums until the Goddesses get tired of listening and just give him whatever candy he’s screaming for.  I’d probably kill him before that could happen, so it’s not like I’d benefit from any divine candy.  At least Hunter shuts up from time to time.

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Link:  I don’t know.  There were too many other factors involved.  Raised me where?  In the Caverns or the desert?  As a Sheikah or a Gerudo?  One or both of them?  In wartime or not?

I wish mum had lived.  I wish dad hadn’t been trapped with a shade for my entire life.  I wish nothing bad had ever happened to them. But it did.  And he was.  And she didn’t.  And my life took on a shape it wouldn’t have otherwise.  I can’t say if that shape is better or worse than it would have been if things had been different, but I don’t think it matters.  I don’t think it’s a question of better or worse.  What is, is.  I’d rather focus on making sure I’m worth her sacrifice (I never will be, but that’s okay too), and that I make the most of the time I’ve got with my dad now.

There are a lot of gifts in my present, and I’d rather not ignore them in favour of the ones I didn’t receive in my past.

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Link:  I ate an entire, gigantic steak in one sitting once.  Talon dared me to.  I was so sick after, but damn if it wasn’t worth it for the look on his face.


Hunter:  I went through a really rough patch when I was around twelve or thirteen.  I mean, I was acting out, I stopped caring about my schooling, started trying to alienate my friends.  I misbehaved a lot, I was rude and ungrateful to people who didn’t deserve it.  People whose fault the things in my life that sucked were not.  I got really self-destructive. 

But…I pulled myself out of the tailspin.  It took a long time, and I’m not going to pretend I was suddenly sunshine and lollipops to be around, or that I did it all by myself.  I didn’t.  I had a lot of help from people who were worried about me.  But I did it.  I know it’s not the most amazing thing or whatever, but it’s the first thing I thought of.  Probably one of the hardest things I’ve done.

Neesha:  Youngest red EVER.

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Hunter:  I really don’t understand why this is so complicated.  Do you have any idea how many charts Link has made me draw?

Impa is my Great-aunt – my grandmother’s sister – on my mother’s side.  Grandma was the oldest, Impa the youngest, and there were a good number of siblings in between.  So I’m related to her.  But Link and dad and Uncle Bray are not.  Dad is my dad.  Which means Brayden (Dad’s brother) is my uncle and Link (Dad’s nephew) is my cousin.  Both, obviously, on my father’s side.

Neesha is Nabooru’s biological offspring, but this doesn’t matter at all, don’t even try to ask her about it she’ll just get offended.  Gerudo culture doesn’t recognize family units.

Malon is descended – EXTREMELY DISTANTLY – from Rauru.  Sahasrahla is Rauru’s brother.  I don’t even know how old they are.  They are VERY OLD.  Sahasrahla has no descendants, because his only son died a very long time ago without having any children of his own. 

Goron-Link is obviously Darunia’s son.  Laruto is Ruto and Acqul’s daughter.  And that’s it.  Right?  Right.

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Hunter:  Uh, relieved?  He wasn’t the only one telling tall tales – I got taken as a maiden too.  If we’re both caught in the same lie, neither of us can hold it against the other.

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Neesha:  Oh gee, I don’t know.  Do I prefer tall, dark and petulant, or short, blonde and overly emotional?  Goddess, it’s just so hard to pick.  I mean what is better looking, a horse’s ass, or a donkey’s?